Dan wrote:

First, thanks for the best chuckle I’ve had in months. You guys are cool — great sense of humor.
Ok, I read your FAQ and didn’t find my answer, so here’s the question. Is your offer good anywhere in the world or do you bar certain countries because their language is confusing? Or their people eat strange stuff?

Hi Dan,

We’re cool with a great sense of humor, eh? We’re forced to agree with
you 110%. We’ve mentioned that fact in our online dating profile, because
all the pretty girls say they’re looking for cool guys with great senses
of humor… but we don’t think they believe us because it hasn’t gotten us
any dates yet. Can we use your email as a testimonial on our online
dating profile? Maybe that would help. But we digress…

You didn’t write to us to listen to our problems, you wrote to us to have
your question answered, so let’s get to it.

Language is a tricky thing. We’re of the opinion that everyone in the
world should speak English. Not because English is an inherently superior
language, but because we’re extremely lazy and don’t really feel like
learning another language ourselves.

Therefore, while we accept members from every part of the world, and we’ll
ship to almost anywhere in the world, we won’t be providing support in any
language other than English.

As for food… our diet consists primarily of Taco Bell, Strawberry Fanta,
and Ding Dongs, so I don’t think we’re qualified to pass judgment on what
other people eat.

Come to think of it, perhaps our diet has something to do with why we
can’t get online dates…

Sincerely,
The DealDotCom Support Minions