Hello, there DealDotComers, who shall be referred to as DDCers from now on because spelling that out is a real pain in the donkey.

We have a double-pronged special announcement today, friends. But first, I want to thank all of you who stuck it out all this time, who participated in the contests, who helped get DDC off the ground. We have been involved in a long legal battle that you don’t need to know anything about, but we want to make this important special announcement:

DealDotCom Still Exists!

You remember when DDC started, how much fun it was to come and read what crazy-hilarious things I had written? Then for some reason the site got all boring and serious? That’s right, the suits came in and stomped all over the heart and soul of DDC. Me. The original Dealbot. They thought it would be better to replace ME with some “professional” who was stupid and boring and really really boring some more.

Well, a few weeks ago they came and found me in my home under the Westpark bridge, living on used chewing gum and sleeping on a bed of cactus needles, and BEGGED me to come back. I agreed, but only on one condition - that DealDotCom would forever remain not boring and/or serious. They agreed, hosed me down in the back yard and left me in a vat of rubbing alcohol for a few hours. Turns out that car full of college kids was wrong, I’m NOT a loser!

Today is a great victory for those free spirits out there who hate the MAN. DealDotCom is back, but more importantly I have indoor plumbing again. Stay tuned, because we have some new deals coming right around the corner to clothesline you like an NFL linebacker, then stand over your limp body and scream in your face, and you don’t want to miss that!