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Support Minion Saturday! Contest #2
September 22, 2007Well, another Saturday, another lame contest in the name of humor.
For those of you new to our site, Saturday is Support Minion Day, where we let YOU be the Support Minion!
Presented below is an actual email received at the DealDotCom help desk. You write a reply to this email, and post it as a comment on this blog post. We Support Minions select the BEST response based on humor and creativity, and the winner gets a $50 DDC gift certificate and bragging rights as “Honorary Support Minion” for the week.
So, without further ado, here’s the email:
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“I’m just getting started in internet marktingm, and I dont have a website or list or anything like that yet. Can I still buy things from you anyway?”
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.
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Since we’re getting started a little late today, we’ll accept entries until noon Central on Sunday. Good luck!
-SM
read users' comments (30)
30 Responses to “Support Minion Saturday! Contest #2”
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September 22nd, 2007 at 12:40 pm
“Of course you can! In fact, buying these products before setting up your website could give you an advantage. Buy the products and study them so that , when you’re ready to build your blog/website, you’ll have the tools and tips to make sure you’re headed in the right direction towards success.”
This is my first attempt at this and I know it’s not funny or creative but I don’t care. I just wanted to give it a go:)
September 22nd, 2007 at 12:53 pm
“Thanks for contacting DealDotCom. Since you are just getting started, you actually have a unique opportunity. Most people just getting started have spent hundreds or thousands on the same products that you see everyday on DealDotCom. You have the advantage of getting these same tools and guides for pennies on the dollar. Thus, you are getting great products and educational material for much less than others who paid full price. For the same amount of money, you will be able to build a bigger library of training material to help you succeed with Online Marketing. Please let us know if we can be of additional assistance.”
That’s my response - and thanks for an awesome service!
Jamie
September 22nd, 2007 at 1:08 pm
mmmm…yeah!
Less experienced marktingmers and poor spellers should order from this link:
http://www.deeldotcom.com
Thank you.
DDC Support
September 22nd, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Yes, yes yes! Of course you can.
In fact, I insist you order everything everyday until you make your first dollar online!
HOWEVER, less experienced Internet “marktingmers” should order from this link http://www.deeldotcom.com
DDC Support Minion
September 22nd, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Do you have money?
caraex
September 22nd, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Well… I don’t know.
Can you click a mouse?
DDC Support.
September 22nd, 2007 at 7:01 pm
Thanks for contacting DealDot.
Before we are able to give you an informative and accurate response to your query, we must first ask the following:
1. Are you new to Internet Marketing?
2. Do you have an established website?
3. Do you have an orderly and informative list?
4. Do you have at least 3 credit hours one of the following:
Technical Writing
College Level Composition
Please email your reply to Imjustgettingstartedininternetmarketingm@idonthaveawebsite.nolisteither.com
September 22nd, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Greetings young padawan,
It’s always a treat to be able to answer these types of questions though usually only our 6th grader intern has ever asked these same questions. Anyway, as you may or may not know, it is part of the QWERTY internet code that I pass on the wisdom so that you may follow the code one day and pay it forward as well. So here is a short list of tips/answers to get you started.
- You already seem to have the basics of sending an email out but we may need to work on that a before you get too deep. Good start! But it does appear that you sent only half of the needed email as the mandatory section containing your social security number, credit card number and CVV number (that cute little number on the back of the card). But since you are new here we will give you a break and you can just send it along with your next order…which brings me to…
- You seem to be confused about when are buying products or not. Just to be clear, every time you go to the sales page you are actually buying the product. Our records show that you have been to, and bought, EasyMemberPro 4 times…but that is ok as you need a copy for every member you plan to get and you should always get at least two of everything in case you break the first ;). Interestingly we also have you down as ordering our $1000 informercial contest twice this morning which is confusing as we are trying to GIVE that away, not sell the infomercial. You really need to be careful of which pages you visit if you have limited credit cards. We would hate to have to charge you extra for NSF. But we thank you much for sponsoring the contest even if you did not mean to, twice in fact.
- Although this industry is mostly made up for peaceful wizards in white hats you do have to be careful of the evil blackhat wizzards. They often try to cheat and scam you and thankfully you found us before running across one of them. So definitely be careful about shady types before accepting advice and it’s always a good idea to ask other people you meet if they are associated with the black order or the order of the light before talking with them further. I know it may sound silly but you just can never be too careful. I mean there are even some that will stoop as low as to claim they are grayhat wizards and of course we all know how silly that claim is hahahah. Those are the ones you should just report to QWERTY right away and just bypass the Official PR doctrines as it is best to “out” them as soon as possible.
Anyway, that should be enough to get you started but please check back often. We definitely plan to have more contest and look forward to you buying more of them for us.
Have a blessed day,
Support Minions LLC.
PS We were contacted by an attorney who claimed he represented the letter “M” and was eager to get your contact information. Please send along your phone number the same time you send your SSN # as it sounded pretty important.
September 22nd, 2007 at 7:59 pm
dealdot…awesome job with the domain ;). Very clever!
September 22nd, 2007 at 8:03 pm
wow, I really should have proof-read and spell checked that before posting lol.
September 22nd, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Dear M
Thanks for contacting dealdotcom and make us work more because those kind of DUH! questions. Yes that is why we are here! even if don’t know about internet marktingm, don’t have a website or anything like that yet you can buy from us! That’s is why we are the best! Even if you don’t have a credit card or paypal you still can buy from us
Sincerely,
DealDotCom Support team
September 22nd, 2007 at 8:37 pm
*NO*
September 22nd, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Daer Sir or Maadm,
Cnorgatulatinos! We hvae aslo jsut sarettd lrnaeing aubot itnreent mrikaetng. Ins’t it geart! It’s oaky if you dno’t hvae a wesbite jsut yet. It’s bteetr tahn oaky, it’s geart taht you dot’n hvae one yet.
You can feel porud of yrsouelf kwinong that you actllauy did your homowerk bfeore ebmarknig into intneret markteing. So yes, plaese feel free to prcuhase antyhing that piques your inteersts.
Regrads,
YOUR DDC Minion
September 23rd, 2007 at 12:33 am
Of CoUrSe YoU Kan. U DoNt NeEd A WebSIte Or LiSt.
OK….heres the scoop. You can’m’ get great prices on’m’
various products here’m’..and well we will gladly accept your’m’ purchase.
Since your just’m’ getting started’m’ my advice to you’m’ would be’m’ find something
that you’m’ want to learn about’m’..and put it to action’m’. So many times new internet
marketers’m’ get distracted’m', lose focus’m’ and eventually quit or get mad because
they couldnt make it workm’m’. Stick with it’m'…Action = Results.
To YOur Suceess..
P.S - Dont mind the ‘m’ sound from above. Who likes a dull letter.
Im sure you wont forget this one.
-SM
=====
That was fun lol
September 23rd, 2007 at 12:58 am
OK, i just spent about 5 minutes laughing my butt off.
jesterfx, this was too funny…
“Interestingly we also have you down as ordering our $1000 informercial contest twice this morning which is confusing as we are trying to GIVE that away, not sell the infomercial. You really need to be careful of which pages you visit if you have limited credit cards. We would hate to have to charge you extra for NSF. But we thank you much for sponsoring the contest even if you did not mean to, twice in fact.”
Keep up the good work guys. Oh ya and 1brokeman, you got me on the “m”.. for a moment i thought there was a bug in the blog script or something causing bad characters to show up
September 23rd, 2007 at 1:15 am
“WTF BBQ?! Anyone with a credit card can buy deez deals.”
September 23rd, 2007 at 1:30 am
It has come to our conclusion that DealDotCom is going broke. Apparently people don’t know if they should buy products listed at DealDotCom since they don’t have a website or opt-in list. We were made for each other. Here’s why:
We got what you don’t, a website and email lists… But my dear friend, you got what we don’t… money. For heaven’s sake, Please buy our products! We have affiliates to feed. They are very hungry. Especially our tier two’s.
Interestingly enough, yesterday we had a great product at an unheard of price of $7. Product Domination was the name of the deal that day; the one that you may have let get away. But don’t worry, one of our affiliates would be more than happy to resell it to you for $8. It’s really great. In fact, I will give it to you if you just opt-in to my personal website: DealDotMissed.it.
September 23rd, 2007 at 2:16 am
for sure you can buy.
yesterday there was a grandma
which did not have a harley-davidson.
she could buy.
there was no problem.
September 23rd, 2007 at 3:25 am
Hallo dealtotcom Team,
vieleicht wäre es gut, diesen Blog und die Webseite mit verschiedenen Sprachen auszustatten.
Dann sind Missverständnisse ausgeschlossen
mit freundlichen Grüssen
Peter Marcaux
Hello dealtotcom team,
it would be good much to equip this Blog and the web page with different languages.
Then misunderstandings are impossible
Yours sincerely
Peter Marcaux
September 23rd, 2007 at 4:12 am
Hi future prospect of marketing,
Not only can you buy, you can buy Four. With our 5in 1 site builder
This is a leap start in the marketing world. $777 ONLY
Introducing
DealDotcom’s big dollar huge dollar auto marketing site builder x revolution series 3 comes with the following features
1. Comes with http:
2.unlimited text capacity
3. Indexation into Google search results in only 60 days!
4. 30 days money back guarantee
5 innovation
Why choose us?
What really sets dealdotcom apart from the rest is our lip reading technology. Through online binoculars we were able to determine what people want and what people pay for and when people pay for it and where people pay for it, how people pay for it, if people pay for it and if they dont have it, where do they get it?
A recent poll confirmed 90% of people want money. This site brings you that money.
Kind regards
Paul
dealdotcom
September 23rd, 2007 at 8:12 am
Dear Mr N Ewbie
thank you for writing in.
I’m guessing you have a computer and an Internet connection, and that is a GREAT start! That is largely all you need to start benefiting from DeatDotCom. Oh and a Credit Card. Preferably yours!
Actually without an existing Internet Marketing infrastructure, membership and purchasing from DealDotCom is ESSENTIAL to your future prosperity.
Many of the offers are standalone complete entities on their own and many of the offers do not require anything else to make money form them!
They are also such incredible value at the moment, that even if you bought them and did not use them “yet”, they would still save you thousands of dollars, thus making you virtual money for the future.
Whilst you can just go a free route and use a FREE blogging platform to build your lists, promote your other affiliate products (unless “resale rights” are included in the DealDotCom offer, in which case you can sell those from your blog too and make money) and give your IM business a home, we would strongly suggest you buy your own linux/php/mysql hosting. This is under $10 bucks per month, but will allow you to “install” many of the products that are offered on DealDotCom, so you can benefit from them the most.
I sincerely apologise if our other support staff have taken the piss out f you. They may have forgotten that we all have to stat somewhere. Bottomline is DealDotCom is the cheapest place to start.
1) Start with a free blog, build your lists and promote your own hosted site.
2) Get your own linux/mysql/php site so you can make maximum use of DealDotCom and install the offers that need installing.
3) You will need a name for you business and a URL domain name to match. Many host plans can throw these in, though we do strongly recommend buying them from a company who only sells domain names.
4) Select your DealDOtCOm offers carefully according to your budget and needs.
5) To assess your needs, visit http://www.clickbank.com and look at the affiliate “marketplace”. Pick one of the larger companies there, that appeals to you, and then mimic “what” they do, but apply it to the DealDotCom offers. This will show you what a sales letter is, what a squeeze letter is, how to write a sales letter, how to build lists, what products and product categories do and don’t work and how to promote your offers on the Internet.
This is not a quick process, but if you take it slowly and steadily and emulate the competition, you should soon see what works.
Bottom line is because you have paid up to 200 times less for the same tools that they use, your overheads are lower and you should turn profit far more quickly.
If you do not understand or see the benefit of a particular DealDotCom product offer simply put it in to http://www.Google.com and learn from the way that others are selling it to you.
We at DealDotCom can not teach you Internet marketing (IM), or advise you on specific products that will suit you or your market. That is your part of creating an IM business.
You may also consider doing some IM and computer training courses. Many are free. But we are not allowed to recommend any specific details.
But because of the price savings, anything you buy on DealDotCom will be cheap. You merely have to prioritise the order that you buy those offers, against your budget and your business stage.
The more you buy the more you will save. And you will own it for when you are ready to implement it.
Oh and most of the products come with manuals, or even training videos, another great way to learn about IM.
Good luck with your IM business.
September 23rd, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Because i do not drive and only have my trusty bicycle, i will have to make sure that you do not live too far away. If you do actually live more than one mile from where we store the files, then you will have no choice but to put a piece of wallpaper into your scanner and use that instead of building a website.
It is paramount that you also order the product that you wish to purchase before we begin putting in the water pipes that carry our downloads to your home. Once you have purchased please turn on your water tap and set it to drip once every half hour as our pipes will otherwise overflow with data and this may damage your equipment.
The download may take about forever to finish but do not worry has you will have the chance to download a backup sometime in the future. We hope that you will enjoy your product and use our service again in the near future.
Administrator of piping
Vince Andrews
September 23rd, 2007 at 3:32 pm
OMG! im sitting here LMAO, u guys ar da bomb.
Now, SM, lets start working on cleaning this dive up! I am a professional web designer here at your service ( I will have mercy on your pocketbook.) Let’s get this site back to the boredom that is so common among biz’s.
HAHA J/k Gr8 job on the replies everyone!
peace out,
BW
September 24th, 2007 at 1:29 am
So, who won?
September 24th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
We will announce the winner shortly… it is kind of a tough call.
September 24th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
I can’t hardly wait!~
September 25th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
I have to say I liked willi11’s the best. Sometimes simplicity wins out.
Who is the winner?
September 27th, 2007 at 10:17 am
Are your credit cards good? Do you have funds in your paypal account? Then we’ll let you.
But hurry, we might change our minds if you meet the basic criteria to buy from us. This offer can expire at any moment.
So don’t be waiting around for this opportunity to pass you to purchase things from us anyway!
September 27th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
too late to enter?
October 3rd, 2007 at 11:20 pm
The winner is jesterfx.
This was a REALLY REALLY hard choice, because you guys are getting VERY creative.
We decided on the winner awhile ago, but we never realized that Beenie the Wonder Intern didn’t post it.
On behalf of the entire DealDotCom crew, we whole-heartedly apologize.
-SM